Dear Young People,
Pornography refers to pictures and films (and even writing) that aims at creating sexual desires in people. Pornography affects men more than it does women, especially pictorial pornography. So this lesson is especially important for the young men in our assembly. Most of these ideas are taken from a writeup by a person called Edward Fudge who has given us permission to use his article.
Pornography is sin
The devil may tell you that pornography does not hurt anyone. You may think that, because pornography is watched privately, and involves the imagination, it does not hurt anybody. But it does. It hurts God because He is holy. It also hurts you and your future spouse.
Moreover, pornography is sin. Notice what Jesus said when He walked on the earth.
Matt 5:27-29 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever _________ at a woman to __________ for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, __________ it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into ____________.
Do you think, after reading this scripture that God would tolerate you looking at a picture of a woman’s body for pleasure?
Pornography is a slave master
Therefore do not go anywhere near it. If you have already dabbled with it, you must act at once and ask the Lord to save you from its clutches.
It is a slave master because like all addictive things, you need more and more to feel pleasure, and you will not be able to fully satisfy your craving. It increases the appetite without quenching the thirst. You become a slave. Pornography hurts. As a believer, you can be a slave to no one except the Lord who bought you.
1 Cor 6:20 For you were ____________ at a price; therefore glorify God in your _________ and in your __________, which are God’s.
Pornography is a liar
It is a liar because it strengthens a set of lies that you start believing gradually. Once you believe these lies, it becomes impossible for you to have meaningful healthy relationships, even simple friendships with people of the opposite sex.
Lie #1 Voluptuous women, full-bosomed with tiny waists, as in the pornographic world, are beautiful.
In truth, many of these models have had their bodies surgically altered to give them a full appearance. Software and photography technology are also often used to enhance their appearance.
Married men who indulge in pornography are not satisfied with their good faithful wives because normal women cannot compete with these models. They stop loving their wives. Naturally their families are in deep trouble. Pornography hurts.
It is also difficult for unmarried men to get married because they cannot develop genuine relationships with ordinary girls.
Lie #2 Relationships with the opposite sex are to do with sex. Emotional intimacy is not important.
While sex in marriage is important, it is not the the most important factor. Affection, caring, gentleness, and a sacrificial nature are all vital ingredients that bring intimacy in marriage.
As for you, young men in this assembly, you know that marriage is a spiritual bond and your desire in marriage should be for more intimacy than ordinary intimacy; for you must aim to have a spiritual bond, being heirs together of the grace of life.
Lie #3 Women are usually prepared to have affairs with men.
This is far from true. More often than not, if a girl has an affair with a man she is not married to, it is for some kind of emotional intimacy and support, and not for sexual pleasure.
Pornography gives you unreal expectations
Those who fantasize regularly about sex, gradually start expecting similar results in real life. This soon shows in their conduct—in their remarks and in the way they look at young women. Good women do not welcome such behaviour and soon these miserable men find themselves alone. Needless to say, if they do meet a woman with loose morals, they have no will power to resist.
For the child of God who is caught in this sin
If you want to escape from this sin and renew your relationship with the Lord, you can. Here are the steps to escape.
- Thank God that He has preserved your life uptil now and has given you the grace to read this article.
- Go to a private place and pray for forgiveness. I Jn 1:9 If we _____________ our sins, He is faithful and just to ______________ us our sins and to cleanse us from _____ unrighteousness.
- Ask Him to save you from the clutches of this terrible sin. Ask Him to remove the evil effects from your life and from your relationships with others. Sin has consequences. The poisons in your mind will take some time to go away. The hurt that this sin may have brought into the lives of others close to you may take time to heal.
- Return/destroy all pornographic material from your house.
- Bring your computer (if you have one) to a more open place in your house, so that you are not tempted in a weak moment.
- When you are tempted, surrender your mind to Him moment by moment. Victory over pornography does not come through self-will or sheer determination. If you wish to satisfy God’s will more than you wish to satisfy your evil craving, you will discover a special strength to do so. Do not try to say ‘No’ to temptation. Instead, say ‘Yes’ to God’s control. Only He can give you the strength.
(Nahomi Dhinakar; Published in Youth Column of Dhyanamlar November 2006) Click here for other Youth Column articles